The name is Rachel. I'm sixteen years too old and from that wonderful filthy state of New York. I'm a scorpio, a vegetarian, and an animal rights activist. I love animals. I'm a stubborn female of mostly Irish and German descent. People make me physically ill. Trying to get me to change my mind is a pointless effort. I will debate you until your too tired to debate. Unless your a complete moron. In which case, I won't waste my time talking to you. I don't say anything unless I have something to say. Think about it.

July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007

AIM: GetHisScentOffMe
Myspace:Click Here

Yesterday my aunt, uncle, Zach, Kayla, Dave, and me went to the Great Escape. It was pretty good. Second time this year getting up that way. And at the end of this month me, Sam, and Zach are gonna go stay in Lake George over night so that'll be cool.

Anyways, I'm really sunburned. Which I can't believe, cause usually I'm pretty tan. My arms were already tanned actually so they didn't burn. Just my shoulders and chest. And my back is a little sunburned too. I also stepped on a rock which embedded itself into my foot. I took it out about 3 hours later because I didn't think I actually had the rock IN my foot. I thought that I had stepped on a rock and it just had a lingering pain heh. After we were done at Great Escape we went over to Lake George. There was a guy there playing guitar to earn money for college. He was an awesome singer. He did a Janis Joplin song that was absolutely amazing. Then me and Zach walked around for about an hour and talked. He's worried about future monetary stuff and what he wants to do with his life and stuff. I feel bad. I blame it all on the government. I mean, the government/schools and whatnot put so much pressure on kids to go to college so they can get some more blue collars to earn money for them. I bet when I'm older I'll get arrested for tax evasion or something. Well anyhow, his parents don't help much because they have the whole mindset that a kid should work to go to college and they shouldn't really help out financially. I mean, I think what they should do is pay for the first semester and if your kid gets lower than a certain grade, I wouldn't pay for anymore until they raised their grade. I know I'm going to be working my ass off if I want to go to college considering my family is pretty much flat ass broke. Which I don't mind. Growing up in a lower middle class family at least gives you a better working ethic and I never was a spoiled kid and I'm pretty damn thankful for that. I mean I remember friends of mine getting toys for no reason and stuff. And I remember when I was little I would get excited if my mom brought me home a bag of skittles. And I think that that's wonderful. No sarcasm. I think it's great to bring up your children so thier not spoiled. I think it's better to not have children at all though. Overpopulation is a problem

I feel like crap today. I'm exhausted, in pain, and feeling kind of overall depressed. Luckily I'm too tired to do anything insanely retarded. I'm out of stuff too. Enh. I had a really weird dream last night. Kind of scary but I don't want to get into that. I have a counseling appointment next week and I'm actually kind of looking forward to it for once. I hate counseling but I've been holding back so much lately, it's like my chest is going to explode. I've been thinking a lot about the incident that happened four years ago with my cousin and how no matter how hard you try to move on, no matter how much you do move on. It doesn't leave. PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is awful. I just don't think I'm ever going to be the same person I was before that. I don't think I can ever go back to truly living. Because I lost my best friend. I lost my confidant. I lost my cousin. I lost a part of my family. I lost part of myself.

I lost it all.
And all I want right now is to lay outside in the grass and the dirt and let it devour me.
I just want to be dead right now.
Honestly, what do I have left anymore? Friends are a joke. Family is just a gene pool. As for me? I don't even have myself anymore. My body feels like it's been seperated from myself. I often feel like I'm staring back at me. And maybe I am. Maybe that's all we ever look for in eachother.
Pieces of ourselves.

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